The question arises out of the depth of an old soul in my forties (late) trying to understand what purpose or direction I need to go. The feeling of despondency living each day like yesterday, cleaning, serving others, pleasing others, constantly solving others problems [remember – other peoples problems ARE your problem – as when THEY have a problem, they will make it YOUR problem to solve it – such is the time we live in].
Leaving your dreams, goals, ambitions and wants get endlessly pushed down the list causing an existence of despondency merged with hopelessness all in the futility of trying – trying to create some order that seems effective as racking leaves in a wind storm.
So you have to ask yourself. What is it you want to do with the last 10, 15 or 25+ years left in your own life? As a Paramedic of nearly 20 years and having visited countless elderly in nursing homes who dedicated their lives to the service of others only to be left in a haze of overcooked vegetable smells. No-one working in this for-profit care facility will know what these people gave up. Most people want to help, to be appreciated, to be noticed and insightful of others motivations on what they need.
Increase your own self worth by taking responsibility of your own situation right now
and change it for the betterment of yourself – don’t look to others to tell you how fantastic you are doing when you know you are probably not.
DEPENDENCY IS SLAVERY
The realisation that you are dependant on another person / company / employer or support service makes you soon realise that you are not, in fact, free.
These assumptions are quietly hidden in our minds as we are distracted by well crafted television shows, YouTube, Netflix, Alcohol and consumerism to numb with traces of dopamine, encased in the knowledge that something is uneasy underneath but not exactly knowing what.
From one distraction to the next.
Lets trace it all back to the original source, then work out what is required to become truly free in what we do. Let pretend for a moment we are free from restriction in time, money, thought and action. We are constantly assessing outwardly what is going on / taking place and adjusting our inner thoughts. Throughout some days we can become self absorbed and dwell on the issues in and around us, projecting misery, anger and malevolence to the world.
DISTRACTIONS
The distractions and outside influences that take away from our true goals and purpose – tasks we attend to first (feeling obliliged to) because each is presented to us as an “emergency” and “obligation” a “have to do” which takes away from what you really wanted to achieve this day. This one simple task that when you awoke and said with your inner voice “All I want to get done is this one thing” – but it never happens, you lay your head back on the same pillow hours later feeling nothing but resentment, frustration and anger at the things you attended to, because you “had” to this one thing first. Putting others first because you love them, then hating them because you did.
This can be your employer, your possessions or even your family.